


You Is Lonely, But So Is Everyone Else

by RikoYuriScream



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Crying, F/F, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Loneliness, Love Triangles, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 08:05:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8741761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RikoYuriScream/pseuds/RikoYuriScream
Summary: You is jealous of Chika and Riko, Yohane is jealous of Ruby and Hanamaru,





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is not only my first fic but straight up the first piece of creative writing I've done in years!! My OTP is ChikaRiko so I wanted to write some ChikaRiko from You's perspective because I'm horrible. It's very blatantly self-indulgent, I wrote it in the middle of a bit of my own heartbreak when I was feeling very lonely. Because of that, I'm not sure how in character everyone is, but I think it lines up? I really like jealous You and b*tchy Riko (even though it doesn't really come out that much in the show she seems like the kind of person who has a lot of selfishness in her heart (I love her)). Anyways please let me know what I can do to improve my writing since I'm new!

                You walked over to the clubroom, early for Aqours’s daily meeting. When she arrived, her heart jumped as she saw Chika, alone in the clubroom already, smiling and looking down at her phone. You wasn’t quite sure when it was that her feelings for her childhood friend started to change from platonic to romantic, but that change was certainly accelerating. Every day, You felt herself falling deeper in love with this girl who she had shared a seemingly unchanging relationship with for so long. She opened the door, beaming at Chika and expecting a loving greeting, but her soaring heart plummeted as she realized Chika was not really alone, but had actually been on a video call with Riko, who was away in Tokyo again. Riko apparently also heard You enter over the phone and the two welcomed her together. Their tandem greeting was mostly welcoming, but carried a subtle tone that made You only feel intrusive. As if it were not enough for You to have to work up the courage to confess her love for a woman who has for years thought of her as only a friend, she also apparently has to compete for even friendly affection with another girl. From the moment Riko came to their school, she had had Chika completely captivated. Even when Chika and You were alone, it seems all she would talk about is Riko. And You was starting to get the impression that Riko knew exactly what was going on.

                You couldn’t seem to stop walking in on Chika and Riko together. Any time that, before, Chika would have been alone and happy to see her childhood friend, she was now instead with the exchange student. They would always still act happy to have You join them, but Chika always looked a little disappointed, and Riko would seem almost possessive of her – constantly turning conversations to inside jokes and shared memories that You was pointedly not a part of. Then, one night, all of Aqours was sleeping over at the Takami family inn for the second night of their training camp. You was awoken in the middle of the night by Chika waking Riko and having her follow her outside. You tried to go back to sleep, tears filling her eyes, hoping that nothing beyond friendly was about to happen between them. Time kept going by, though, and they still had not returned. It was almost dawn and You had not been able to sleep at all, despite the exhaustion brought on by her stifled crying. She decided that, even though she knew she shouldn’t, she would go out and try to find them. After all, maybe they were in trouble! She was just worried about their safety! Definitely! They were fine, though. In fact, they looked quite happy, standing on the edge of the road above the beach, hand in hand. You looked on in horror as they closed the distance between them, their faces getting dangerously close, and then… finally… letting their lips meet. After momentarily backing away from each other, they embraced, and Riko, looking over Chika’s shoulder, locked eyes with You. She did not seem particularly embarrassed or upset, and the look in her eyes was not malicious, nor mischievous. It was more a look of… guilt. But guilt for something you do not actually regret – guilt for something that you needed to happen, but are only sorry for needing it so badly. You hurried back to the inn, trying to stay quiet enough that Chika would not hear her, though she imagined Chika was well enough distracted.

                From that day on, Chika and Riko were closer than ever. It drove You crazy that no one else seemed to notice. There were no whispers of “something must have happened between them” and so no outlet for You to talk to anyone for fear of revealing some secret. You’s frustration grew, until one day she came across Riko in a rare moment where she wasn’t accompanied by her… girlfriend. You sat down next to Riko, with a subconscious huff. Riko only looked down, wearing the same face as that she did that night.

                “I’m sorry.” She said

                “Are you?”

                “…No… Maybe a little. I wish I was.”

                “If you were sorry you would’ve talked to me beforehand.”

                “I couldn’t… I was… scared. I was so scared of anything going wrong. I’ve been so lonely, You.” Tears began to form in Riko’s eyes. “I know Chika idolizes Otonokizaka, but it was a cold and lonely place to me. The city is great and fun but sometimes the most alone you can feel is when you’re surrounded by people. All I had to keep me company were trashy yuri manga and doujinshi. The girls in those stories… they all found someone who could take away all of their loneliness all by themselves. Somebody who could hold them and know them and understand them and love them. I’ve never had anyone like that. I’ve never had someone look at me and be happy that I am who I am and that I’m there. Not until I met Chika. The first time we met, she was already caring for me. I was acting foolish and reckless and she tried to stop me from hurting myself. She didn’t even know me and yet she cared so much about what happened to me and how I felt. She cared in a real way, too; not just empty words but a caring that I could really feel in my heart. And then she started to get to know me, and knowing me made her happy and it made me so happy that she was. To see her face light up when she saw me… To know that I mattered to her and that being in her life made it better… I didn’t feel lonely anymore. She was like something straight out of my yuri, but better, and real, and I could actually… touch her. She took away my loneliness all by herself. I didn’t need anyone else but her and even then, because of her I’ve made so many other friends. But I still felt a need to get closer, and closer… I couldn’t stand there to be any distance between us. Like on a cold night when you can’t pull your blanket tight enough around yourself, I’ve had such a long, cold night, and Chika is so warm… I hope you can understand.”

                “Of course I understand!” You was in tears now too. “So you’re going to leave me out in the cold now, then?!”

                “…”

                “I just… don’t understand why she chose you. I’ve always been there with her. I know her so completely. I know and love every single thing about her. There are so so many beautiful and special things about her. I’ll never in my life find another person like her.”

                Riko’s face hardened. “Maybe that’s the problem. There’s no discovery left in you to her. No path left to be forged. Honestly, I don’t know what makes Chika love me. Sometimes I can’t believe she does, but when she looks me in the eyes I do believe it. I can’t imagine a thing about me that’s lovable, but something about the way she looks at me makes me believe that there’s plenty. And that’s why I’m not sorry.” Riko stood up, much more resolved than when You had first approached her. “I hope you the best, I really do. But I have to go meet up with my girlfriend.”

 

* * *

 

                You was left sitting still, tears streaming down her face. She couldn’t really disagree with anything Riko had said. She wanted to so badly but she knew it was over. Rather, it had never started. It was always going to be Riko, not her. Eventually, she gathered up the strength to stand up.

                She headed out into the hallway and wandered aimlessly for a while. Somewhere near the first year classrooms, she heard sobbing. She thought at first she was only hearing herself, but then saw a long black feather poking up from behind a row of lockers.

                “Yohane?”

                You moved forward, looking around, and something caught her eye inside a classroom. Ruby and Hanamaru, the first years, were in sitting across a desk leaning into each other, whispering, giggling, and giving each other quick, shy kisses. She turned back to the source of the sobbing and approached her other underclassman, quietly calling out, “You too, huh?”

                Yohane seemed too distressed to be surprised but tried to choke out an in-character response “The fallen angel would never… never be…” she broke off her sentence and lunged into You’s arms and cried into her shoulder. The feelings that You had only just been able to quiet a bit came raging back and she joined in Yohane’s sobs.

                Yohane spoke up, “It’s not fair.”

                “No, it really isn’t.” You stared at the ground, watching as her tears dripped down off the tip of her nose, and continued, “It’s like… why not me, right?” forcing out a chuckle.

                Yohane gripped You’s uniform tighter and buried her face in the fabric. “But… isn’t it wrong to think that, though? I should… I should be happy that the one I love is happy” Her sobs grew stronger and she shook in You’s arms. “But… seeing Zuramaru’s smiling face when she’s with her is… it’s the only time I’ve ever hated that beautiful smile.”

                You thought about Chika laughing with Riko. She thought about Chika’s face and how these past few days she’s looked mostly the same as she always had, but something in her eyes and the blush on her cheeks when she looked at Riko felt new. Like it was only for Riko. There was a new side to her childhood friend that she was never able to bring out, and now would likely never have the chance to. She thought she would much rather see Chika crying over Riko than laughing with her, and she hated herself for it. She held Yohane a bit tighter and muttered to her “But you can’t help to think, it could just as well have been me, right? I’m better than her, right? I deserve this more than her, right? Why can’t she find someone else…”

                Yohane pulled away just enough to turn her head up to face You “Right?! Ruby’s great but… Whatever! I’m cuter!”

                You laughed heartily, and felt it shake some of the despair from the pit of her stomach. She pressed her forhead to Yohane’s. “How could she turn down a fallen angel, right?”

                “That’s right!” she replied with a tearful smile and wink.

                They laughed again, then You sighed, saying, “I don’t know if it’s cruel to have those thoughts, but… I need to have them, so I’m going to.”

                “Then Yohane will too!”

                You held Yohane’s head to her chest, gently rubbed her back, took a deep breath and muttered, “We’ll be okay.” She wasn’t sure if she believed her own words but something about seeing the normally boisterous and goofy Yohane broken down like this just made You want to protect her. She looked again towards the carefree couple in the classroom. “We should get out of here.”

                Yohane pouted, but, seeing You’s soft smile, nodded her head. She and You walked away from the offending classroom, hand in hand, soothing each other’s broken hearts just a bit without needing to say much more. You knew that she might not ever get over Chika. There was a whole life with her that she could have lived that is now very unlikely to ever come to pass. But maybe there are other lives she can live, and maybe they can be nice too.

**Author's Note:**

> You's shift in the second half feels kind of rushed, but also in my experience sometimes that kind of thing can feel rushed irl? Idk, I'm not quite sure how to better show it other than just a page of You crying and thinking the same things over and over in her head lol


End file.
